Glass Half Full: A World that is Hostile or Welcoming?
Gloria Steinem and Astra Taylor offer that both views are a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I recently re-read My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem. I first read this book in 2016, and while much of it was inspiring for me, it is actually a misremembered quote that has stuck with me the most!
What I misremembered is this quote/idea, which I had falsely misattributed to Gloria Steinem:
The world is divided into two kinds of people. Those who believe the world is fundamentally hostile, and those who believe the world is fundamentally welcoming.
I was actually misremembering and combining two quotes, the first of which was this somewhat-humorous quote, emphasis mine:
What we're told about this country is way too limited by generalities, sound bites, and even the supposedly enlightened idea that there are two sides to every question. In fact, many questions have three or seven or a dozen sides. Sometimes I think the only real division into two is between people who divide everything into two, and those who don't.
- from My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
The second quote is what is inspiring the thesis of this post, and of course inspired my original, misattributed quote, emphasis also mine:
It's said that the biggest determinant of our lives is whether we see the world as welcoming or hostile. Each becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. My mother had performed the miracle of creating a welcoming world for my sister and me, even though she herself grew up in a hostile one. But her broken spirit could not help but let the darkness in— and I absorbed it during our long years together. My father and I lived together for far less time, but his faith in a friendly universe helped balance my mother's fear of a threatening one. He gave me that gift. He let in the light.
- from My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
I was amused by my own misremembering, while still inspired by Steinem's suggestion of seeing the world as welcoming or hostile, and how this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even misremembered, the idea of seeing the world as fundamentally welcoming has shaped mine and my ex-wife's approach to life since I first read My Life on the Road in 2016.
I was therefore excited when I read something very similar to Steinem's words in Astra Taylor's book, The Age of Insecurity, which I read for the first time this year, emphasis mine once more:
When we are shamed into denying the gift of care that we all need, we turn inward and put up defences, which only makes the world seem more inhospitable and hostile and ourselves more adrift and lost. In reality, other people are our best and most reliable form of security-the security of working with others to create a more caring society.
- from The Age of Insecurity by Astra Taylor
I offer these two quotes from two amazing thinkers, philosophers, and activists as an exercise for you to consider and perhaps shift your world view. I certainly have my privileges which makes my ability to move through many spaces safely and confidently, and I keep these quotes in mind, even amid our current times of great uncertainty. They give me hope and I find, at least from my own personal experience that indeed, when you assume welcoming, you get welcoming.
Further reading
Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World by Scott Shigeoka
My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
The Age of Insecurity: Coming Together As Things Fall Apart by Astra Taylor
