9 Reasons Why Zack on Gilmore Girls is the Worst

Of all the men in the Gilmore Girls world, I think Zack was the worst. Here's nine reasons why.

I'm currently re-watching Gilmore girls for the umpteenth time, and once more I find myself loathing Zack in particular. Normally we all get caught up in Luke vs. Christopher, Dean vs. Jess vs. Logan, etc, but I think these debates distract viewers from realizing that Zack is the worst Significant Other of all the women in the show.

I think the actor Todd Lowe does a great job portraying Zack, so my critique is def not his performance, my issue is the character of Zack who is sooo contemptible. In a way, Lowe's performance of Zack is all the more remarkable - when it comes to the Bad Men of Gilmore Girls, Zack rarely tops the list. I think it's because his many flaws are so *shrug* boys will be boys. As viewers I think we're meant to be distracted by the explosive incidents related to Logan's elitism, Mitchum's tyranny, Dean's cheating, Marty's obvious incel-in-the-making behaviour, etc, before we even think of Zack's comparatively small offences of a gay joke here and there.

It's insidious really (and yes, I realize calling anything in Gilmore Girls truly insidious is laughable); Zack's flaws blend him into the background and we forget how dreadful he actually is. Really, don't we all know a Zack in our life? The cis white man who is utterly typical, mediocre, clinging-to-toxic-masculinities-type that we merely call 'not woke' vs. actively misogynistic and homophobic. 

Zack is an interesting portrait of one who flies under the radar; he's not painted as a monster like Mitchum or Floyd Stiles but he still somehow tops them all for me as The Worst. Without further ado, I present to you nine reasons why.

1. He's homophobic af

You could call Zack's homophobia a hallmark of TV and what was socially acceptable to air in the early 2000s, but I still put this on the list because as far as I can recall off the top of my head (admittedly, I didn't go through and and scrutinize every single episode again to prep this blog post), he makes the most gay jokes and homophobic comments on the show of all the characters.

• Refer to Season 3, Ep 15; Season 3, Ep 19; Season 4, Ep 5, and Season 7, Ep 16 for such comments I can recall off the top of my head.

2. He's ageist

To be fair, my only proof of this is when Gil first joins the band in Season 4, Ep 7. I believe Zack's words were "Dude rocks, but dude's too old" when Lane asks him why Gil doesn't have Zack's vote to join the band.

I'd also like to point out that Zack is that type of horrible boyfriend who continually brings up past wrongs - c'mon, you know the type. I can't remember exactly which episode it is, but there is at least one where he makes some comment about Lane letting Gil into the band after the episode where Lane hires Gil, and Zack is clearly still bitter about it.

3. He's racist

In the first couple episodes of Season 7, Lane and Zack return from their honeymoon in Mexico. As Lane explains to Rory, the trip was a total bust. Among the lowlights was Zack's increasing paranoia of Pedro, the Mexican man whom they rented their honeymoon accommodations from. Zack felt Pedro was plotting against Lane and himself, that Pedro was 'talking in code' when in fact, Pedro was just speaking Spanish. Lane also tells Rory that Zack lost it one night and jumped at Pedro, and when Rory talks to Zack separately about the incident, Zack says he has never wanted to murder someone more than Pedro...sigh. 

In other offences, while Zack thankfully doesn't seem to be an asiaphile like Brian, he still displays some questionable behaviour towards Korean culture in Season 5, Ep 12. In this one, Lane and the band attend a Lunar New Year dinner at Mrs. Kim's. While Brian and Gil are gracious, enthusiastic guests, Zack disparages at the "slimy food." Minor I know, but rude much??

4. He's got some highly questionable attitudes towards women

• Refer to his creepy flirting with Lorelai in Season 3, Ep 12. Seriously Zack, it's Lorelai's house, she's letting you use the garage for free and you still have the nerve to creep on her?
• Refer to his obsession with groupies in what I believe was Season 5, Ep 2
• Refer to his extremely unwelcoming behaviour to Rory in Season 6, Ep 9, which, as Lorelai later reminds Zack is highly unjustified seeing as Lorelai has let Zack and the band practice for free for years in her garage (bringing us back to point one on this section)

5. He's incredibly jealous

Despite never being all that good to Lane, Zack is extremely jealous. Look no further than Zack's entire story arc in Season 6, Ep 10. The band finally has a chance to perform in front of a label and Zack totally blows it for all of them because he's an idiot and thinks a gesture of friendship from Brian to Lane is romantic instead.

For total damage, compare Zack's jealous meltdown to Richard's jealousy in Season 5, ep 12 wherein Richard hurts Emily and Simon McLean. Also consider the envy-fuelled fight between Luke and Christopher in Season 7, Ep 10. In the first scenario, two people are hurt. In the second, they hurt each other. In Zack's meltdown in S6E10 he hurts four people including Lane, Gil, Brian, and Joel.

Another, if smaller, jealous meltdown can be seen in Season 6, Ep 12 where he loses it on Lane's Uncle at the Winter Carnival, thinking he is Lane's suitor.

6. He seems to be unemployed for the most part

For this point, I would like to mention that being unemployed does not make a person inherently worthless by any means. I choose to pick on Zack for this point within the context of the show for a few reasons:

• In Season 6, Ep 12 he mentions working (not volunteering) for the winter carnival set up, and I don't think up to this point he ever mentions having a job, whereas we see Brian doing the real estate, Gil with the sandwich shop, Lane waitressing at Luke's, Kirk and his million jobs, etc.
• During Seasons 1-6 of the show, I think his only paid gig we viewers are made aware of is the tour the band takes thanks to Mrs. Kim and Lane's motivation and organization
• Money is obviously tight in the house that Lane, Zack, and Brian rent together, but we never see Zack rushing off to work or trying to fit band practice into his schedule of playing video games...
• As far as viewers are made aware, there is nothing that seems to prohibit Zack from employment
• In Season 6, Ep 17 Zack complains about working for twenty hours on a song that Mrs. Kim is helping him write before he proposes to Lane - lack of work ethic, and he doesn't mention this time taking away from any paid work
• Finally in Season 7 Zack starts working at Luke's -- but only to take over for Lane who has to go on bedrest 

7. He gets frustrated at the drop of a hat

This is perhaps slightly over-analyzing BUT I will put forward that Zack's toxic masculinities seem to inhibit his ability to communicate effectively for the majority of the show. As a result, we frequently see Zack get frustrated or lash out when he feels he isn't being understood, versus, you know, everyone else who talks it out like a grownass adult.

• Refer to Season 4, Ep 11 when Zack gets angry with his band for not understanding his musical request AND later in the episode when the concert doesn't go as planned, Zack is the first to really lose it and picks a fight with Gil
• Refer to Season 5, Ep 1 when Rory comes over to talk to Lane, delaying the start of band practice, Zack has no patience and instead of waiting for Lane, he messes with her drum set and attempts to start practice without Lane
• Refer to Season 5, Ep 5 when Zack finally admits to Lane that he has feelings for her, too, but then gets frustrated at the end of his confession once again
• Refer to Season 5, Ep 18 when Zack's furtive behaviour confuses Lane, he lashes out, turns out all he's doing is practicing in a bluegrass band and is ashamed to admit it
• Refer to Season 6, Ep 3 when Hep Alien is coming back from their tour, Lane confesses she has been setting aside money for the band the whole time. They're all surprised, but Zack is the most whiny, ungrateful, and frustrated she kept this information from them

8. Does he ever do anything nice for Lane?

I'm seriously asking you, because I'm hard-pressed to come up with a single example.

Does Zack ever do anything nice for Lane without someone helping him, or without being asked? Or is he indeed just the giant man baby we all know he is? Admittedly, he does get a bit better when Lane is pregnant in Season 7, but not by much.

• His proposal to Lane does not count: when Zack wants to propose to Lane with Mrs. Kim's blessing, Mrs. Kim helps him write a song. 
• When Zack wants to get the band back together, he talks to Gil and Brian first, who both say they're not coming back unless Zack gets Lane back, too.
• Lane is on her feet all day working, Zack just comes in and asks for free fries
• Zack makes a nice dinner and cleans up the house for Lane at home on their early dates, but is expecting Lane to have sex with him in return

9. His reaction to Lane's pregnancy 

We see a few less-than-great reactions to pregnancy in Gilmore Girls throughout the series, including Christopher's reaction to Sherry's pregnancy, Jackson's reaction to Sookie's first pregnancy, and of course the Gilmore and Hayden family reactions to Lorelai's pregnancy with Rory.

I think Zack's reaction to Lane's pregnancy in Season 7, Ep 2 takes the cake though. Yes, they both get the short end of the stick in this whole situation, but Zack yet again fails to do anything mature, helpful, or considerate. He's stunned silent, and Lane is once again the one who reaches out to him to talk because Zack apparently can't cope.

Other great feminist writing on Gilmore Girls

Bumped Off: What Will It Take to Destigmatize Teen Motherhood? by Natasha Vianna

What I Learned From Growing Up With Rory Gilmore by Hannah Steinkopf-Frank

Why Don't I Hate Emily and Richard Gilmore by Princess Weekes