Love is a Verb
Two great thinkers offer something simple: let's think of Love as a verb, rather than a noun.
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| Dreaming Shepherdess by BOUCHER, François (c. 1763) |
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling [...] If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self [...] If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return [...] Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
- from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey
The world "love" is most often defined as a noun, yet all the more astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we used it as a verb. I spent years searching for a meaningful definition of the word "love," and was deeply relieved when I found one in psychiatrist M. Scott Peck's classic self-help book The Road Less Traveled, first published in 1978. Echoing the work of Erich Fromm, he defines love as "the will to extend one's self for hte purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." Explaning further, he continues: "Love is as love does. Love is an act of will--namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love." Since the choice must be made to nurture growth, this definition counters the more widely accepted assumption that we love instinctually.
- from all about love: new visions by bell hooks
FURTHER READING
Best Of bell hooks's "all about love: new visions"
