VIDEO: 2 Ways to Handle Conflict at Work

January 31, 2023

Here are two pieces of advice that have helped me when I'm in a tight spot

No matter how hard or conscientiously we work, conflict at work is unavoidable. Here are two pieces of advice I have found especially important when you are in a tight spot.

The first piece of advice is from one of my career mentors, and it is: don’t offer feedback unless you have been specifically asked to do so.

This was a hard one for me to learn. Aren’t people always looking to improve? Isn’t sharing ideas and thoughts a way to show you are engaged and bring something to the table, especially if the answer is like, so obvious?

Unfortunately, the answer for the former question, aren’t people and organizations always looking to improve—is often no, or they do not have the infrastructure in place to deal with feedback. And as for your feedback making it look like you’re keen and come with good ideas, it can often be seen as presumptuous or uninformed.

Additionally, at least according to Dr. Tasha Eurich of Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why The Answers Matter More Than We Think, we have to remember that the vast majority of people we work with are not that self-aware, nor are they necessarily prepared to receive feedback at random, even if its delivered in a constructive, thoughtful way.

This info seems pretty darn bleak, and I still maintain that it has helped me at work. If you’re bummed by this advice, there are lots of other videos about self-awareness and feedback in A Course in Production where you can learn more.

The second thing I would offer you if you are in a tight spot at work (i.e. you are under fire and asked to explain yourself) is to stick to the facts. This is a really tough one to master, and is also the simplest in some ways:

Stick to the facts
Keep the emotion out of it
Relay things succinctly
Speak only to your own actions and understandings.

I know it's tough when we are moving fast, under a lot of pressure, and working with all sorts of personalities. The truth is if you start rambling, throw in a lot of he said/she said, and are flustered, you won’t make your case. It is likely the person hearing you out will likely have a lot more questions than answers, and you will come off as scattered and unprofessional. Stick to the facts of what happened or is happening, and the truth will out.