3 Phrases to Drop: Work Edition

Here are three more commonly-used phrases or words to drop from your professional vocabulary.



In previous videos I’ve talked about how we can change or drop our usage of various words and phrases as minimal-effort, maximum-impact way to improve our relationships and presence at work. For today’s thought exercise, I have a few more for you to try out.





First up, let’s drop “Well, actually…”


Celeste Headlee, journalist and author of We Need To Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter advises that we all strike “well, actually…” from our vocab. Headlee says, 


“Much like ‘I’m not a racist, but…,’ nothing good will come after the words ‘well, actually.’ If you really need to correct someone because something bad will happen if they don’t have accurate information, find another way or wait until they’ve finished their story. If it’s a trivial correction it is not necessary. No one needs to interrupt a story about dinner in order to explain that real champagne only comes from France.”

- Celeste Headlee


Second, let’s lose “But” and use “And” instead.


Susan Scott, founder and CEO of Fierce, Inc and author of Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time offers swapping our our use of “but” for “and” as a tactic for avoiding laying blame. Scott says,


“To help you improve at describing reality without laying blame, a simple and effective shift you can make is to remove the word ‘but’ from your vocabulary and substitute the word ‘and’. ‘I like what you’ve done here, but…’ will be better received if you say, ‘I like what you’ve done here and…’”

-Susan Scott

Scott says that this tactic is to honour that, 


“[…]this is true, and this is true as well […] Multiple realities are not competing. They just exist. You own a piece of the truth, and so do I. Let’s figure out what to do.”

-Susan Scott


Let’s try it out together using an example from Scott’s book, simply shifting “but” to “and”:


"I know you want more time to complete the project, but the deadline is looming."


to


"I know you want more time to complete the project, and the deadline is looming."


Better, right?







The last phrase I think we should ditch is “with respect” or “with all due respect.” 


Call the Midwife is one of my favourite tv shows. In Episode 2 of Season 7, the character Sister Julienne puts it best when she says,


“I am always wary of the phrase ‘with respect’ […] I generally find it is a forerunner to candour, or possibly impertinence.”

-Sister Julienne in Call the Midwife, SE07EP2


When someone has ever said to you “with all due respect…” have you ever felt respected after the fact, or did you feel chastised? When you have said “with respect” to someone else, were you truly trying to be respectful of their experience and authority , or were you being cheeky?


Think about it, and if the answer is chastised or cheeky respectfully, go on ahead and ditch this phrase.






RESOURCES



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